Life as a School Teacher in Oklahoma- The Wild Midwest

Life as a school teacher in Oklahoma is many things... I finished up my Year One as an elementary music teacher in May, and I learned so much, gave so much, it's a bit overwhelming to contextualize into words...

So for some help with this post, I'd like to enlist the word "wild" as a supportive adjective to help define my experiences. Let's check out some of its Merriam-Webster definitions, while keeping in mind how these might befit a first-year elementary music teacher's classroom:

WILD
1. not ordinarily tame or domesticated (ha. haha.)
2. unruly (nah...) 
3. deviating from the intended or expected course (as a first year teacher? never......)
4. indicative of strong passion, desire, or emotion (okayyy you caught me) 

Okay! So it was wild. Now to push the word a bit further, let's make an adverb out of it! (are we sure I taught music?)

WILDLY
1. Wildly exciting, to be the sole individual responsible of making sure learning is happening.
2. Wildly surreal, to be in a walkout your first year of teaching in public education. *It was like  stepping up to bat in the seventh inning of the World Series (wearing pinstripes against the Red Sox, no doubt).*
3. Wildly satisfying, to offer a musical concept to young minds, to share knowledge with a child who has never heard what you're sharing before. Also wildly thrilling. This gave me life this past year.
4. Wildly exhausting, constantly on the grind to create exciting ways for your students to experience everything you want them to.

I caught myself wishing all year that I already had a year of teaching under my belt. I'm ready to go back, stripes earned, for Year Two.

so this is the new year...

I don't know if 2012 could have flown by ANY faster. Freal tho. SO fast. 

Travels of 2012

-Atlanta, GA

-Joplin, MO

-Falls Creek, OK

-San Antonio, TX

-Glorieta, NM

-Santa Fe, NM

-Little Rock, AR

-Eureka Springs, AR

-Dallas, TX

-Tyler, TX

-Beijing, China

-Red River, NM

-Taos, NM

of course with intermittent and countless travels to Tulsa, OKC/Norman, Fayetteville, etc.

So. On the to-do travel list for 2013:

NYC (round 3) 

SanFran (round 2)

China (round 4)

Who knows where else!!

I love travelling and seeing all the beautiful people my Heavenly Father created, all in His image, all beautiful people in search of love and truth!! Travelling helps remind me of the mighty love God has on a global scale, and how I have that same ability to love within me. 

Quick eval of 2012:

2012 brought me two of the greatest friends I've ever had, girl friends whom I've prayed for for years and have been extremely blessed to know, get to know, and be a good friend to in return. [halleberryhallelujah]

2012 also brought me into the cusp of amazing musical opportunities through the lovely DuPree family in Tyler, to recording opportunities here in ole Talleykwa, plus bunches of performances, some with my band AUTM, some with my family music quartet, and some on my own. 

2012 helped me to see more of who I am and why God made me the way He did. Let me explain. 

"Why am I this particular way?" was a common question I wrestled with all throughout the year. "Why does this bother me?" and "Why do I enjoy this?"... but the more I looked into those questions, the solution became clear to me that I didn't have to know all of those answers. 

Instead, I began feeling selfish focusing my thoughts on ME ME ME. What I began to see what that yes, certain things bother me, certain things bring me joy, and that's lovely. But the same is true for others as well. So my question evolved from "Why am I this particular way?" to "How can I get to see how this person is a particular way?", followed by "How can I love this person by knowing them more intimately?" 

 I'm by no means a mind-reader, but by trying to see others in the light the Father sees others, as worthy of sacrifice, of value, I have a shift from "ME" to "OTHERS". 

\\

I'll be graduating in May [whoopwhoop] and after that... we shall see :)

*that one thing that changes everything*

-h

benna elenco!

As part of my journey to begin dreaming, I began my bucket list yesterday! Yes, it's already rather extensive, but dreams don't include limitations, ey?

• go skydiving
• get a tattoo [ 19 april 2016]
• play a solo gig 
• write a book
• learn a foreign language [Chinese, 2014-present]
• befriend an enemy
• live abroad for more than a year [2013-2014, China]
• go sailing
• get a motorcycle license
• ride a zipline in a jungle/forest
• go snowboarding
• go hang gliding
• see the Northern Lights
• go to a ball
• grow a vegetable garden
• visit an ancient castle
• visit Loch Ness
• go to Bonnaroo
• go to Glastonbury
• go to Hawaii
• see the Taj Mahal
• become ambidextrous
• see the Egyptian Pyramids
• visit Jerusalem and historic Biblical landmarks
• climb up in a lighthouse
• ride in a hot air balloon
• get married to a man who loves God more than I do
• visit D.C. and tour the White House
• write an investigative journalism article for a newspaper
• skip a rock all the way across a river  [16 june 2012]
• scuba dive in the Great Barrier Reef
• be the last man standing in dodgeball
• have a pet reptile
• walk a tightrope at least 50ft. above the ground
• catch a homer at a pro baseball game
• watch a Premier League match in England [go Blues!]
• change someone's life for the better
• learn to cook
• learn to sew
• do a paper route
• take a stranger to dinner
• have really short hair [2014]
• have really long hair
• win a musical competition
• sleep in a cave
• sing in a gospel choir
• ride in a Venetian gondola
• visit: London, Dublin, Paris, Vienna, Barcelona, Vancouver, Rome, Athens, Moscow, Florence, Buenos Aires, Auckland, Tokyo, ....

I hope to keep updating as I continue to dream. Enjoy! :)

• learn to play soccer
• go kayaking [summer 2013]
• go horseback riding
• take a belly dancing class
• go zorbing
• go to Carnival, Rio de Janeiro
• go to Loy Krathong [festival of lights] in Thailand
• learn to juggle
• be an extra on a major network television show
• drive a Lamborghini
• design an article of clothing and have it sold
• go to the World Cup
• go to Wimbledon
• go whitewater rafting

-H

23 avril 2012/ 4 mai 2012

I just remembered I had this post sitting in my drafts. It's been here about 2 weeks now... 

To start us off, a haiku by my dearest friend, Chelsi:

Walking through the tall grass

My legs get tickled

Thanks, Chels. 

And on to the dreams.

This past week in my weekly meeting with my mentor, she asked me what my dreams are. I immediately spouted out what I've programmed myself to respond when someone asks what I want to do with my life:  serve overseas, live in a big city, be around people all the time, etc... But she challenged me. What specifically are my dreams? What are my goals? What do I anticipate, pray for, move towards, on a daily basis? Well, that one got me thinking...

History: I have never been one to set goals. I've experience life in more of a "walk-through-the-open-door-right-in-front-of-you" way. I have faith God will open a door, and He does. Earlier in life that maybe wasn't my reasoning. Before I never really set goals so I wouldn't get disappointed... worked out great for Christmastime as a kid!

So what are my dreams. Dreaming. Dreams. Dreamer. I began searching. What passions do I have? Where did these passions come from? Why am I wired the way I am? What purpose does the Father have for the setup of a human he's made me to be? It's not random, I know this. I have faith that my future is in the hands of the Creator, so I've never really cared to give the future much thought because I know God will outline my steps as I seek Him. He's got me taken care of, so why in the world would I wonder and fret over things out of my control? I love being happy with what life has now, because it's where I am and I love to enjoy it. But where does He want to take me? Am I preparing myself for the paths ahead? 

Dreams. Is a dream a shooting star propelling past stagnant thoughts fixated in the milky way? Do dreams move, or do I move towards my dream? Am I the shooting star, and my dream is the sun? How does one dream, or learn to dream? 

Thoughts: I once read that someone was "dreaming the Father's dream". This small phrase left an impression on my heart. My initial response to reading this was "I want to do that!" So I thought well, how would I do that? What does that mean, to dream the Father's dream? Perhaps being so intimate with the Creator that my thoughts, passions, dreams, pleasures, and desires align with the dream He has for me: life in love. Yes. A dream that transcends my daily living and delivers a message beyond the confines of one day. 

Life in love. 

Not the most specific thing in the world, but a dream shouldn't be a goal, rather the actions and purposes of daily life are threaded with love into the strand of life, just a bead at a time, all in place. It becomes the defining piece I state. 

___________________________________________________________________________________

Sometimes it takes me writing to actually figure out what is going on in my mind. Things become so blurry I can't focus on anything quite clearly. This is why it is important to write and to seek understanding of the things already in my head. Just because it's there doesn't mean I've devoted time into discovering who it is. This blog was dedicated to definition such as this #dreamsareiridescent 

9 avril 2012

I've fallen on my back, 

and oh did it hurt.

I slapped him across the cheek with my

worn

rugged

filthy

diseased 

shoe, trodden on prideful paths I shaped alone.

But there is love. 
Not the cliché love of novels crafted for 
blushing and pleasure,
but a love
incomprehensible
beyond knowledge
full of faith
and blessings.
Love is a man, and he pours.

The wind pains each facet of the tree, 

overwhelming it, it seems
...

and yet the tree grows taller, 

greener still.

Let the roots deepen.

Let the branches stretch.

Let the rains pour,

because they will.

They always will.

16 mars 2012

People are extraordinarily bizarre.

I am a person.

Therefore, I'm extraordinarily bizarre as well...

Actually, this is debatable.

But, 

one could make a valid argument I am based on the upcoming blog post,

if someone wanted to. 

Ok.

Here are a few of my thoughts on the 16th of March, the Ides and a day. 

____________________________________________________________________________________

I experience life in colors. 

I see in color. 

... well, Haley, doesn't everyone?...

Yes, this is true 

(unless you are colorblind. In this instance, my deepest apologies.)

Let me explain.

As I experience life, each day, moment, sound, and person has a color. I don't know why, but I know it's always been like this for me. One time, I felt grey. It was terrifying. Most days I feel green, purple, orange, or sometimes yellow. Sometimes even blue, but not in the connotation most associate "blue" with (being blue). And I don't just feel a general color such as "green". I feel a very specific intensity of the color, such as a pastel green, or tropical rainforest green. In labeling the colors, I need to give credit to the Crayola 96 pack, which has literally helped me define the moments of my life.

So, this is apparently pretty. odd., and it's certainly not something that comes up in casual conversation. Well, I suppose it could:

 "Hey, Haley! How are you today?"

"Periwinkle blue, thanks for asking! And yourself?"

I don't remember when I realized I had "color powers", but I know I at least had realized by the 8th grade because my science teacher, Mr. Hudgens, would ask me every day, "What's the color today?" and every day I would have an answer for him.

It's an odd "condition". Letters, numbers, and words all have colors as well, which sometimes helps in knowing the color of a person. I suppose this makes me a very visual person. I always like to know how someone's name is spelled when I meet them, and it helps me to figure them out, in a sense. 

I've had a few "aha!" moments of relating to others in my color condition. These are a few.

1. In the movie "Baby Mama", Amy Poehler's character talks about how she can sense people's auras and the color associated with it... while it's portrayed in a comical sense in the film, I can do that stuff in real life. Frreal. 

2. Once on the news there was a segment featuring a condition where people could see colors while listening to music. The segment  focused on people who associated color with music only, but it was the first moment I think I realized there were other people who had the color condition, too. I remember being really excited. Eeeeeeeeee!

3.  I studied voice at NSU for 2 years. At the end of my first year, I was comfortable enough with my instructor to tell her I sing in colors, just to see what happened. Her eyes widened. She wanted to test it out. So I would sing one passage in different shades: "brick red", then "forest green", then "sunshine yellow". They were all distinctly different to me, but I was curious if she could tell the difference as strongly as I could... and she could. So for the rest of the semester, she began to teach me in colors, and it was the neatest thing. Unfortunately, she was only in residence for one year, and so we were unable to add more colors to the canvas [jokes]. But it was still really awesome. 

Now, I hope I'm not pitting myself as saying "Look at me, I'm so different and unique!" but I was just thinking about colors today, and decided to share all about it. 

I love seeing this majestic display in addition to the one I see each day. I wish my artistic skills were as sharpened as my imaginative skills. So often I want to articulate a colorful feeling or experience, but I can't get it past my thoughts. All the more for me to enjoy, I suppose, but I want to share them. Maybe someday.

I suppose that's all I have to say about colors today. Call me bizarre.

30 janvier 2012

Father spoke to me tonight, and this is what he said:

Be calm, daughter. You know the storms will come. But remember, I have already overcome the trials of this world! Abide in me, dear child, and I will give you rest. Seek my face, and you will inherit my favor. 

Be still, daughter. You try to live life so quickly. But remember my timing is perfect, and your life is planned accordingly. Serve me and bear my fruit, so others may see whose you are, my precious one. 

Be confident, daughter. You are unsure what the days will bring. But remember I have placed significance on each of yours. Glorify me in your days, and boast all the more in your weaknesses so they may see my strength. I've armored you, child. 

Daughter, let me be your strength. TRUST ME. Please do not give a care to the eyes of favor among men. You are an elect exile, not of this world. Act as such! Be filled with my Spirit and sup with my will.