27 février 2011

I just flew in from Colorado and I discovered while travelling solo for the first time that one, I really enjoy travelling alone and two, I love airports.  For that moment in time, you're in the same place as all of these people, stuck in transit, for a period of time. If you stop and look at it, it's pretty neat to think about. All of these travellers are not at their final destinations: no one lives in an airport (to my knowledge, and excluding Tom Hanks in 'Terminal'). And yet, we all have to cooperate and wait and experience life in the same way together against our desires, or perhaps alongside them. I heard numerous languages today travelling home; Greek, French, Italian, Spanish, and one I didn't recognize. I love language and am fascinated by it. I took 2 years of French and wish I could speak it. I don't know hardly any of it at all anymore.

This weekend was not what I expected it to be in any sense. My brain is jumbled. I'm confused, happy, disappointed, excited, exhausted, and had to leave the house as soon as I got home. I am very disoriented as well. I know how I want to be treated, and I try to treat others that same way. It is always upsetting when someone you care about chooses, or can't help, but to treat you in a way that is hurtful. The thing that I'm discovering that pours the most salt in a wound is apathy. But, like I said, I'm also disoriented. I just got home, and I think time will help my emotions clear and settle. I'm feeling so much at the moment that I don't know how to process it. And that's fine. I know my Lord won't give me more than I can handle. So obviously I should be reminded that it is not what others think, but what the Eternal Saviour thinks.

I was journaling the other day and here's what I said: "If we truly do not love the world and all of its cravings and lusts, we should not resemble the world at all. Life should be a resistance to the world's temptations. It should not concern the thoughts of others and what they think of the actions of Christians. A Christian is Christ's and NOT the world's."

The verses that correspond with this response are these: "Do not love this world not the things it offers you, for when you love the world you do not have the love of the Father in you. For the world offers only a craving for physical pleasure, a craving for everything we see, and pride in our achievements and possessions. These are not from the Father, but are from this world. " 1 John 2: 15-16

I can't make everyone happy. It's not my job to. I can only be confident in pleasing my Father in heaven. For when I please and give in to the cravings of this world, I am not filled with God's love according to these verses.

So I leave this post confused about the immediate future, but confident in the fact that my God is bigger than an airport, bigger than a bad weekend, bigger than a broken cell phone, and bigger than the false hopes of this world.